False Friendships

Having friends is an important part of life. Despite its importance, friendships with the opposite sex can put several in bad positions. A friendship between two of the opposite sex can lead to miscommunications and unwanted feelings for one or both parties. St. Francis de Sales describes to us how a friendship should be in his writing, Philothea.
St. Francis de Sales’ writing on false friendships is mainly about false friendships between opposite sex. He stresses that friendships of opposite sex are bad because they are flirtatious friendships, false. St. Francis talks about true, holy friendships, friendships that are made in the charity of Christ. As said by St. Francis de Sales, “holy friendship speaks a simple honest language, and only praises the goodness and grace of God, which is its firm foundation” (Philothea, 176). St. Francis de Sales says that good friendship is made in serving Christ, working for him.
There is false friendship, between opposite sex. St. Francis de Sales says, “When these foolish friendships exist between persons of different sex without intention of marriage, they are called flirtations” (Philothea, 168). He says that it is a foolish friendship because these friendships distract the heart from God and what friendship is truly about. One should not share a friendship with a person of the opposite without the intention of marriage.
There is a tie between St. Francis de Sales thoughts on friendships, and Christ teachings regarding discipleship and relationships of opposite sex. St. Francis says that friendships should be based on charity for Christ. Jesus’ disciples were friends through the charity of him. Men and women were disciples of Christ and in working for him, friendships were formed. St. Francis is saying just that, friendships between opposite sex should only be the friendship formed because we are disciples.
While everyone needs a friend, we need to be careful in those friendships. Everyone needs to remember the importance of friendship and that is service to God, helping one another to grow closer to him. St. Francis de Sales describes to us how a friendship should be in his writing, Philothea.